Just One More Chance
by WhoYouReallyAre
Summary: A look into Duffy's phonecalls with Ryan that her son referes to and Ryan trying to win her round as she continues to fall for Charlie. Completed
1. Chapter 1

Just one more chance.

Curled up, her legs tucked under her, she kept her eyes firmly locked on the book in her hands almost as if she'd gone deaf to the phone ringing across the room. She wasn't even enjoying the book but she knew who it would be on the other end and after a particularly difficult shift she just wasn't up to it. Sadly for her Peter, her eldest son, had other ideas. Marching into the room, irritated by the constant ringing, he heads straight for the phone shooting her a look as he did. "You can't ignore him forever mum. What if something is wrong?" knowing better than to answer that she simply shuts her book as Peter begins to chat to his step dad. She suddenly regretted encouraging them stay with her until they decided where they wanted to live. Just as she was about to make a break for it her mobile flashed beeping to alert her to a text.

Glancing down at her phone the name Paul was staring back at her with a simple text beneath the name saying only 'Please talk to him mum x' She didn't hear too often from her youngest, the baby of the family, but at 16 she didn't expect to he was very independent and out of her three children the most laid back about her choice to move home. But unknown to her that was purely because he didn't expect her to stay away too long, they'd be through this before. She didn't expect him to join her whilst he was still at school and as much as she didn't like it as far as Paul was concerned Ryan was his dad which put him in an more difficult position that her elder two. Jake however was barely talking to her over her moving home and taking a break from Ryan so much so you'd be forgiven for thinking Ryan was his real dad. She understood, sort of, Jake did have a strong relationship with Ryan more so than Peter and of course none of the three knew the complete truth about her relationship with their stepdad or even close to it if she were honest. Breaking her from her thoughts she looked up to see Peter standing before her handing her phone out to her a stern look on his face that made him look even more like his late father than he already did. With an unimpressed look upon her face she finally caves in and takes the phone cursing him greatly in her head.

She'd barely got the phone to her ear when she heard the desperate yet hopeful voice of her husband ringing around her head.

"Hey." She didn't want to answer, he knew that he could tell by the pause before he got a heavy sigh followed by a forced "Hi." Peter refused to leave the room until all the usual politeness was out the way 'how have you been' 'any news' etc and he was completely confident that his mother wasn't going to make an excuse and put the phone down on him. He knew it wasn't any of his business Ryan wasn't even his father nor his brothers but it was for his brothers sake he wanted her to at least listen to him. He hadn't a clue what had caused the latest break-up his mother was fiercely private when it came to her relationship with Ryan. It did strike him as odd when she'd told him a lot more about her marriage to his dad, Andrew, than she had to but neither her or Ryan would reveal the truth behind their problems. It was about 2 years after moving out to New Zealand that they split and himself and his brothers opted to go to boarding school around the same time but after about a year and a half of it

having decided they hated it begged their mother to let them all return to New Zealand. He still felt guilty about it as it was the reason she'd split with her then partner Mike even if he didn't like the bloke. Before he knew it she was back with Ryan and married but this break up came from no where again. He only hoped they could work through it as he knew Paul was missing her more than he liked to admit and he didn't wish to cause his mum any more heartbreak by telling her.

This call seemed to be going on forever, he'd filled her in on any gossip or news he thought she might like to hear, how the boys were really getting on and the dogs who she missed a great deal more than Ryan if she were truthful but so far they'd avoided anything about each other. Until now.

"How's A&E going?" Even if the boys hadn't worked out why their mother was there he knew all to well it was purely for Charlie. Always was.

"Oh you know, A&E never changes not really. Just the faces and the paint." He wished all the faces changed if they had he was damn sure she wouldn't be there. Still bringing up Charlie was sure set way to get the phone put down on him.

"I miss you Lisa..." His voice was full of emotion breaking her despite her telling herself it was all words. All an act, it always was an act. He loved control and mostly for the past 15 years he'd managed to control her until recently. Until she saw Charlie and all those feelings she'd tried desperately to lock away came flooding back. "I know. I just don't know if it's enough anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Chances. It was always 'just one more chance' She'd lost count of how many 'one more chances' she'd given him over the past 15 years. Well it wasn't quite 15 years not if you take all the time they'd spent separated out of it. But it felt like 15 years well it really felt longer. Although if she thought about it no wonder it felt so long. In 15 years he'd taken all her money, given it back, had affairs and convinced her to leave Mike. Not that she'd been innocent either she'd ran off twice, Cambodia and back home,refused to trust him in the slightest with money and point blank refused to discus the topic of children when they first moved to New Zealand. Despite all three of her children seeing him as a father she knew he regretted never having children of his own and tried for a couple of years to convince her to try for one of their own but she refused to listen to it. Her pregnancy with Paul was difficult and dangerous she'd swore she'd never do it again and damn well meant it. The relief she felt when she finally stared to go through the change, not too long ago, was unimaginable and he never forgave her for it.

She'd finally managed to tell Charlie that she was soon about to become a grandmother something she'd known a lot longer than she let Charlie know. It wasn't that she wasn't excited about it, the total opposite in fact, but more out of fear of bringing up any topic that could go back to Ryan and New Zealand. She hadn't told him they'd separated, not that he didn't suspect, and knew if it came up she wouldn't be able to keep her feelings towards him in check any longer. Plus she wasn't sure she could handle that look of I told you so flash across his eyes even if he wouldn't dare say it. In fact she hadn't kept her feelings in check at all that previous evening. She found herself acting like a complete idiotic teenager, jealous of someone she didn't know purely because she obviously showed an interest in Charlie. She'd never felt that strongly before, not even when he was married to Baz. But regardless of how strong she felt right now she was still technically married and couldn't yet say her marriage was definitely over not to mention the fact she wasn't confident in the slightest Charlie felt the same as she did. Regardless of the fact he'd binned that woman's number he appeared quite taken with her and who was she to stand in his way? What could she promise him?

She didn't understand the hold Ryan seemed to have over her, each time she told herself it was over he'd hurt her one time too many he'd only have to sit her down for a chat and she'd crumble. She used to think her late husband was bad for emotionally blackmailing her during their marriage but Ryan was something all together different It wasn't that he'd done anything terrible this time, he hadn't cheated in years as far as she was aware but their marriage was stale. He didn't excite her anymore she just didn't love him and seeing Charlie again made her question if she ever had. Maybe 15 years of control, hurt and blackmail had turned her numb.

Of course it wasn't all pain or there's no way she'd have stood it. When everything was good between it was wonderful it was just when things were bad they were unbearable. She wasn't sure she could keep up the pretence of loving him for children's sake any longer. But something still stopped her from telling them the truth.

Her eyes flash towards the ringing phone willing it to cut off before her son hears it but of course it didn't. As soon as she heard the tell tale signs of him coming down to answer it she shot to her feet and grabbed the phone. The last thing she needed right now was Ryan piling Peters head with stories on how much he missed them.

"Hey" His voice was low obviously expecting Peter on the other end not that it mattered who he played out too. Or rather who he conned first.

"Hi Ryan." She was right, that wasn't the voice he expected to hear but it delighted him. Progress.

"Lise. It's so good to hear your voice."

"Hmm.. I don't mean to be rude but I'm exhausted, is there something wrong?"

"Depends what you mean by wrong." sighing she knew where this was headed. "Isn't it wrong that woman I love is on the other side of the world?" She almost replies with 'I don't see you doing much about it' but knew all to well if she did he'd be in Holby before she could blink and that was the last thing she needed or wanted right now.


	3. Chapter 3

She finally had the house back to herself, as mean as that sounded, since Peter and Tanya had finally found somewhere nice and affordable quite close by. Of course she knew they were just as glad to be out as she was not that they didn't all get along, she got on better with Tanya than Peter most of the time. It was just nice to have your own space. Still she knew she only clashed with Peter because they were too alike. Both far too stubborn. He may look the double of his father but she was all to aware that he took after her personality. One thing did shock her about her son moving on was the fact that despite not having nagging in her ear she was still answering Ryan's calls. Why she wasn't sure she still didn't believe she loved him anymore, if ever, nor did she really want to go back but she talked to him every night regardless. Of course a great deal of their discussions right now were the impending birth of their first grandchild. As much as she hated to refer to the baby as 'their' grandchild that was the way Peter wanted it and she understood. He'd known Ryan a lot longer than his own father, despite that not been Andrews fault, and got on with him much better than him too, that was partially Andrews fault. Of course she had a fair few regrets on how much her eldest now knew about her marriage to his father but he was persistent and far too clever for his own good. He'd decided to pick a time when she had one too many glasses of wine to attempt again around ten years ago now to find out more details about his parents. Alcohol did have a terrible tendency to loosen her tongue. His questions her basic enough to begin with 'What was Dad really like?' 'What did he enjoy doing?' 'What made you fall for him?' then as they went on became more serious, ones if she'd been more sober she would have refused to answer. Thankfully even after so many drinks she didn't tell him about her fling with Max nor Andrews god knows how many year long affair with that nurse but she knew he suspected either one or both had. He wasn't a fool nor deaf he'd heard them fight terribly in the last year his dad was alive, it didn't take much to figure out the reason. She could still see her then teenage son sitting at her side, his eyes on the floor as he asked her.

"Dad didn't want you to have Paul did he?" Of all the questions he could have asked she didn't expect that one.

"Where on earth did you get that idea from?" she didn't have it in her to lie outright.

"I'm not an idiot mum. I heard you fight. I didn't really understand at the time but I remember him standing in the kitchen telling you not to tell us anything until you'd both come to a decision on what to do then you crying." His words instantly brought back the pain of that last few months with Andrew and her entire pregnancy. She remembered the tears filling her eyes whilst Peter still couldn't look at her but before she could think up a lie he continued.

"He wanted you to have an abortion didn't he? That's why you barely spoke isn't it?" there was no real way to lie her way out that. Even sober and looking back she knew that. She'd decided to open up to her eldest on one condition that no matter what happened in the future that he never reveal anything to his brothers. No child needed to know their dad didn't want them. Even if Andrew did change his mind later on, something she made very plain after explaining that her threatened miscarriage was no ones fault. Something else in the back of his mind was himself she knew that and not for the first time promised him there was never any consideration or request from Andrew of her to get abortion when she was pregnant with him. Now because of the very real and honest picture he had of his father he was more inclined to favour Ryan as his dad but then if he knew even half of the truth about their relationship she knew he'd never speak to the man again. Still regardless of that she kept the truth about his conning, blackmailing cheating ways a secret not having the heart to destroy or take away yet another father figure from her boys still blaming herself in some ridiculous ways for the death of Andrew. If she'd left him in the first place when he'd cheated on her all those years ago none of this would have happened and he'd be alive to see his boys grow up. Still it didn't play out that way and instead she was picking up the phone to man she didn't love for the sake of her boys again. She hadn't really learnt her lesson at all had she?


End file.
